Olga Komisarova, Ukraine

My "Here and Now" stopped on February 24th. Five days in Kyiv without sleep and food. Shock, I thought I was going crazy. But the pain grew and intensified because my brother and his wife were stuck in the occupied city Bucha. Escape. Three days in the rivers of the pain of millions of people. Tears, fear, anxiety. I realized a new depth of feelings that cannot be explained. Then there was a calm Europe, but in my head flashed pictures of burned cities. The world has completely lost its colors, and reality seems to have stratified. Two months later, for the first time in my life, I adored flowers and could look at them for hours, greedily devouring the color. The feeling of guilt for surviving slowly changed to a feeling that my life was ruined and I lost my personality. I learned to smile again, but I forgot how to be happy. Five months later, I returned home. I'm lucky. My family is alive, we have lost almost nothing. Rising prices and lack of income no longer seem like something frightening. I can talk with my brother, hug my mom and dad, sleep in my own bed. I live in hope that February 24 will end soon. And "Here and Now" for the people of my country will again be normal.